Nobody was Fishing.
Nobody sat in Serenity with a cup of caffeine and watched his thoughts emerge from The Field one after the next. ‘they look like fish jumping out of the water’ he thought. Realizing that he had just caught one in the air, he smiled. Nobody was fishing.
Nobody was Fooled.
Nobody laughed at his addictions. The biggest and most prominent was his addiction to thinking. He watched his mind try to draw his attention into mental movies. He noticed the body losing energy whenever the mind was successful in drawing him completely into fantasies of past and future. ‘The mind makes pictures’ he thought, ‘that’s it’s job’ Nobody noticed that for every feeling, if he put his attention on it long enough, would conjure up an image. Sometimes the images were of the ‘more recent’ past, sometimes they were images of ‘the future.’ Nobody wondered if it was possible to stop the mind from making pictures. He found himself in a panic wondering how he would pay ‘the bills’ and watching images that conjured emotions of fear and anxiety. Nobody was Fooled.
Nobody Did Nothing.
Nobody watched images dance in his mind shifting from one illusion to the next. He then watched the watcher of those thoughts and and caught a glimpse of nothing. His body felt light and surged with energy. He smiled and tried to hold onto that feeling as it disappeared as spontaneously as it emerged. Winds move the trees, a plane sounded overhead, and Nobody did Nothing.
Nobody Thought
Nobody sat contemplating a list of illusions that were in need of attention. He smiled watching his mind create images based on the emotional resonance with anxiety. “What a show!” Nobody thought.
Nobody Laughed
Nobody had made a decision and in deciding to achieve something in the future his mind threw up everything that he would miss out on, everything that he would have to do to get there, everything that he was afraid, everything that made him nervous. Nobody laughed.
Nobody Wondered.
Nobody took Deep Breaths directing the focus of his attention to the center of his chest. He noticed a slight tingling underneath the constricted feeling that some Spiritual Practices would call the Heart Chakra. “Anahata” he said to himself. “Is this feeling just reminding me to think less? Could it be that easy? Just feel everything without telling stories?” He began to focus more on the feeling and it slowly melted away into what some Spiritual Practices would call “Bliss”. Had he really been living from his Heart? Nobody wondered.
Nobody Watched
Nobody sat and watched a movie about demonic possession. He was procrastinating. He began to breathe deeply. He smiled at his need to avoid feelings and responsibility. He looked at his life story and giggled at the absurdity of it all. Where was he going? What did he really want to do? Did any of it matter? Nobody knew that none of it really mattered, that at some level it was just a rollercoaster ride of emotions. He had developed many practices which allowed him to feel his emotions without becoming them. Nobody knew that all the practices really only worked when the technique dropped and yet he felt the technique was still necessary at times. He realized that in Spirtual practices there are really only 2 techniques. Sustained focus on something or sustained focus on nothing. Nobody focused on that which the mind cannot ever comprehend and he smiled again. Nobody watched.
Nobody was Awake for a Moment.
The Winter settled in on Nobody. He thought on the insidious nature of cold weather. He wondered about space and time and 2012. He watched his mind turn over visions and mental movies at an alarming rate. He gently focused on his own breath. Nobody began to feel again. Despite the 3 cups of coffee which had switched his mind into overdrive, he began to notice the vibratory field in which thought takes place. It was as if he spent the last few days living on the porch of a mansion. As he began to occupy the rest of his home, he remembered that sitting on the porch was nice, but he didn’t have to live there. Nobody remembered, then smiled, then took another deep breath. As he became aware of the overall field that he called his body, he watched his thoughts slow and stop. Nobody was Awake for a Moment.
Nobody was Here.
Nobody sat in Serenity with a cup of caffeine. He noticed things on the edge of his perceptual fields. He noticed the silence that seemed to surround every sound. He watched the edge of his visual field. He felt a vibrant buzzing underneath all his senses. He found it challenging to gently guide his attention back to this ‘feeling’ underneath the sense perceptions, but with a curious mind the feeling grew stronger. Nobody knew he wasn’t actually doing anything and that the totality was actually moving through him. He smiled with this realization and let out a heavy sigh of relief. Nobody was Here.
Nobody was Awake.
Nobody sat comfortably in Serenity. He wondered why he was awake at this hour. He looked into the eyes of love panting at his feet and his body experienced waves of gratitude for his life. Nobody wondered what was next. His mind kept reminding his that there was a list of things to do. His breath reminded him to feel. Nobody was awake.
This journal is a Spiritual Practice of mine. Observing the self from the Self. Witnessing, Watching, Recapitulating.